Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness

Sermon Ephesians 4:29-32 June 12, 2016 Ordinary Time Series #5

Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness

I begin this week’s sermon with a series of quotes.

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much. Blaise Pascal

With the help of grace, the habit of saying kind words is very quickly formed, and when once formed, it is not speedily lost. Frederick W. Faber

Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime. Dale Carnegie

Imagine a world where people look out for each other. Where we all pay it forward. Where success is measured in selfless acts. Where kindness is the philosophy of life.

All these quotes give us a glimpse into the practical definition of kindness. Perhaps that’s what we yearn for as much as we yearn for love-a kinder, gentler world.

We have been studying the verse given to us in the letter to the Galatians 5:22 regarding the Fruit of the Spirit. It says, “The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

One thing we have learned through our studies thus far is that the fruit is a gift. We have learned that each element of the fruit is already within us. Gifts are given to us and they come to us to be used, developed, and shared. They are given to us by God in the same manner that life and God’s love has been given to us.

God’s love for us already exists and is there for us to receive it. Whether we choose to accept the love of God or not does not change God’s claim upon us. God values who we are and cares deeply for us. In the same manner of love God has given us the capacity to love and care for ourselves and others through the gift of the Fruit of the Spirit-one giant bunch of fruit filled with rich, juicy, oozing with goodness fruit. It’s ours to taste and try and offer to the community around us.

Kindness as do the other elements of the fruit begins with caring. The Greek word for kind is chrestos. It has in its meaning, useful, it is a word of action. Rather than a state of being, kindness is a state of action.

Our lesson in Ephesians today begins with what kindness is not. Sometimes to get an understanding of what something is, is to learn what it is not. There is no room in kindness for maliciousness or selfishness, nor is there space for wrath, anger, or bitterness. As kindness is developed these other behaviors dissipate and fade away leaving room for only goodness to shine through.

As I was sitting with a family preparing for the funeral of their mother I asked one of the sons, “What is the one thing you would like to make sure everyone hears and knows about your mom?” His response to me was, “That she was kind.” What an amazing legacy to leave behind! To share with the world that the most important aspect of life to remember was kindness, yes!

What are the beginning actions of kindness?

Perhaps one place to start is with our words. Encouraging words of comfort, compliments, and courtesy. Can you think of what those might be? Our words can have a healing effect on others. Our words can draw people together as we share in conversation and seek to know someone else. Even the simple act of acknowledging the person next to you as you wait for a bus, or sit next to them on an airplane, is an act of kindness. Even in our own households recognizing the person who you share space with is an act of kindness.

A friend of mine told me how hard it was in her job in retail. She said it was difficult to always practice thoughtfulness and kindness in her business. One day her boss gave her some advice. He said, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” She thought at first that this wasn’t quite authentic or honest. But, as she began to practice a smile and kind words no matter what, she recognized a transformation within her. The more she practiced the more genuine her words and actions became. Perhaps there was some truth in practicing kindness even when it didn’t feel right-she was glad for the advice and has shown that it is now her way of life.

What are some examples of kindness that you have experienced? Was it the day you showed up in the line at the grocery store with two items in your hand and the person in front of you had a cartful, yet, they offered you to go ahead of them? Perhaps it was a day at the office and you were weighted down with the burdens going on in your life and a colleague came by and said hello, and just their acknowledgment of you mattered and made a difference in your day. Their hello drew you out of your dilemma and helped you to enter into conversation.

As we look to people around us with all their concerns and suffering, their illnesses and confusion in life, we can be moved with compassion. We can be helping, sharing, caring, encouraging and extending ourselves to them-this is kindness.

But, what about those people who have a way of pushing our buttons, you ask? How do we show kindness to those who continue to greet us with meanness?
I believe that is where the hard work within us takes place.
The meanness of others cannot deter us from being the kind people God calls us to be.
To meet the pain of another with the grace of goodness is probably the greatest gift we can offer.
 And if the goodness refuses to be received it is important for us not to change who we are based on another’s desire to live differently.
Perhaps that is when the strength of kindness will be most important.

But, if you had asked my children when they were teenagers what kind of mom I was, they would have let you know I was the meanest mom on earth. I remember saying that I could have had a bumper sticker made that said, “mean mom.” Sometimes as a parent kindness shows itself through discipline. “No you can’t stay out as late as all your friends, you have to be home by your curfew.” I’m hoping now that they are parents those rules of life will be looked on as rules of kindness. But, you’ll have to ask them.

As we develop our skill of and our gift of kindness,

it will get stronger and we will use it more frequently.

Our ability to practice makes us better and makes the world better. The more we learn, the more we grow, the more our community flourishes.

Kindness is more than friendliness, it is true engagement with others.

Through the strength and power of God to transform us we can and will be a kinder, gentler generation.

We can ask God to fill us, we can seek God out and ask for this gift to shine strong in us. We can say to God here I am use me.

May the kindness of God’s Spirit fill us today as we seek to serve God and others. Amen.

Tim McGraw’s song lyrics:

You know there's a light that glows by the front door
Don't forget the key's under the mat
Childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church 'cause your momma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won't be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don't expect a free ride from no one
Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why
Bitterness keeps you from flyin'
Always stay humble and kind
Know the difference between sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
"I love you" ain't no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When those dreams you're dreamin' come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

When it's hot, eat a root beer popsicle
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don't take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you're goin
Don't forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind

Fruit of the Spirit: Patience

Sermon James 5:7-8 June 5, 2016 Ordinary Time. Series #4

Fruit of the Spirit: Patience

Let me begin with a few quotes this morning about patience…

“Why is patience so important?"
"Because it makes us pay attention.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” 
― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

Finally brethren, Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.

I must admit I am the most ill equipped to share with you the words of patience today. I am known for my struggle with patience. So, I begin today with my confessions of being a poor example of the fruit of the spirit of patience.

We are studying the Fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22-25 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I come from a profession of nursing prior to my move to ministry. In the business of nursing and medicine we were very much in the business of “fixing”. Our goals were to offer healing in the manner of “making things better.” If someone came in with a broken bone, we set it and it was fixed and we sent them on their way. A person came in for stitches and we could sew them up and we had fixed the problem. As a mom I thought my job was to “fix” things for my kids as well. If they had a boo boo it was my job to kiss it and make it all better. I spent my life in the fix it business. As a nurse and as a mom, I, we, wanted to insure health by “fixing” what was wrong or ill.

In life, however, I have learned the manner of “fixing” is not necessarily the way to go through it. Life as many a counselor and spiritual director have shared with me, is not about “fixing” but more about a “process”. Life isn’t meant to be fixed but it is meant to be lived. Fixing has a time frame, but a process allows for a lifetime of transformation. So, I am comforted to know that the patience I yearn for will take my lifetime to occur.

So, again, what is patience as we’ve read it today? In the Biblical sense we have the Hebrew word “qavah”, which mean to wait for, look for, hope, expect. In the Greek “hypomeno”, to remain, to abide, to persevere, endure, bear bravely and calmly. The two Biblical words have a little bit of variation in their definition. But, this variation offers a full and an all-encompassing look at patience. The lesson in James gives an example of patience through the illustration of the farmer.

-What things in life have proven to be worth waiting for, for you?

Both the farmer and we humans are dependent on something beyond ourselves, beyond our control to provide for us and sustain us. We are encouraged to look ahead to the hope of good things to come.

The hunter, the fisherman, the gardener, the cook, the student, the parent, the teacher, all look forward to the hope of good things to come from their patience in the process of their actions and their waiting.

-What things in life have brought us to utter impatience? Our pet peeves?

Share your list-telemarketers, long lines, an unmet goal, disappointment, unmet needs, waiting rooms, etc.

-What are the emotions and behaviors that come with impatience? Anger, frustration, stomping feet, yelling, walking out, shutting down, depression, hurting self or others, physical changes-increased heart rate, high blood pressure, red face, stomach conditions, tense muscles. In our culture, the faster things work the less patience we have developed. In our fast paced 21st century culture we are used to instant gratification. We Google things and get answers right away, we get the weather at the touch of an app. We get things quickly and expect things quickly and when they do not come to us as we have expected them to come, we lose it! We cannot fathom that we have to wait for something to come to us in a slower pace. The old art of waiting does not exist in our current culture.

Our list of things we are not patient about is probably much longer than our list of things for which we are patient.

When we say to someone or someone says to us, “Have patience”, we are all the more frustrated with this admonition. We usually do not feel better when we hear this.

-So, AGAIN, we ask, what is patience?

Patience is not passive, weak or an act of giving in. Patience is a virtue, a power, and a fruit of the Spirit, it is a gift. And like all gifts given to us it is within us. It is there waiting to be harvested and utilized.

Patience is a form of compassion. Judith Orloff says, “Patience is a way of emotionally redeeming your center in a world filled with frustration.” She says it is a way of appreciating delayed gratification. Patience occurs in relation to relationships. It occurs when we open ourselves up to understand the other in whom we are engaged. With practicing patience we nurture love, joy and peace. We begin to recognize that relationships take time.

Practicing patience gives the opportunity to breathe, to get to know God, to get to know the inner wisdom within us and to draw on it. We learn about ourselves and what we are capable of being and doing. Being in a waiting room or in a line is one place to grant the opportunity to practice patience. Here we can daydream, engage in conversation with the people around us, and begin to form a relationship with others and in doing so recognize we are not alone in our frustrations and in so doing share the goodness of waiting and how we grow.

“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.” 
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

In the space of waiting we seize the moment to be engaged in a way we haven’t allowed ourselves to enter before. We use the moment as a gift, a chance to live well in the waiting. We offer up the time to God, to prayer, to connecting with ourselves or with others. The next time we find ourselves in a waiting room or a long line, consider it as free space, as a chance to use this time in a new way. We can become genuinely surprised in our engagement with waiting. We discover the joy of our patience and then without realizing it we have practiced patience and that which we have been waiting for arrives before our eyes.

Our God is full of patience, grace and mercy. May our lives be filled with the experience of all God offers us and may we share the same gifts we have received. Amen.