My Confession: Yes, I Was One of Those Moms

My Confession: Yes, I Was One of Those Moms

My kids grew up with a mom that didn’t do much for them.

Yes, I was that mom who didn’t make breakfast; the kids had to make it themselves. But, I was up with them before school started and I was there to kiss them goodbye as they walked to the bus stop. Oh, yes, I was one of those moms who made her children ride the school bus too.

I was also that mom who didn’t help them with their homework, at least not the way they let me know other moms did. Their homework pages were filled with smeared eraser marks and scratches of where they made their own corrections. I let them go to school with pages showing how they arrived at the answers all by themselves.

It was clear I didn’t help them with their science projects either. They had done it all by themselves even down to the crooked lettering on the poster. But, every A on their work and every A on their report card was completely earned all by themselves.

I was the unhelpful mom when it came to scouting too. My son’s Pine Wood derby cars always looked like a kid made it. The wood was never smooth and sleek like his buddies, it had an odd shape to it and often his cars look lopsided. However, there were times when he won the races and came home proud of his blue ribbon. Today, he has no trouble working with tools, getting dirty or daring to learn a new skill.

Now don’t get me wrong I did help some. I went with the girls or my boy to the store to pick out the paint or the poster board. We bought the glitter and the glue together. But they were the ones in basement pulling the long hours trying to make their projects perfect. I remember during those years feeling like a crummy mom at times. Because when I would show up at school my child’s project clearly looked like a kid had done all the work. Sometimes I felt guilty because I was one of those moms.

Today my kids are amazing adults. They take the initiative to tackle all kinds of projects and they aren’t afraid to do the work. And the work in their jobs has earned them financial perks and awards of recognition.

By the time my girls reached middle school they wanted clothes their friends had and I knew we couldn’t compete. They received a clothing allowance at the beginning of the school year. They could buy whatever they wanted with that money. But, when it was gone it was gone until the next school year. One year one of my daughters had to have an expensive pair of jeans. She used most of her allowance to have that pair. She had a tiny wardrobe that year. I was not a very fair mom. But, my girls learned at an early age how much things cost. Today those girls can stretch a dollar better than anyone I know.

I was also one of those moms who made her kids do chores. Every Saturday was a routine of bathroom cleaning, bedroom cleaning and sheet changing. Vacuuming, dusting and mopping had to be complete before anyone could go out with friends. Time management skills became an essential part of life and leisure.

My children were working in the kitchen as early as three years old. By the time my oldest was five she could make a grilled cheese, fry an egg and bake brownies. When she was eight she was cooking an entire dinner of baked chicken, vegetables and pudding for dessert. Some people thought this was careless or irresponsible but I thought it was normal. But, I guess that’s because I was one of those moms. They learned to cook from scratch and continue to cook that way today.

All of my children are amazing cooks now! Each one of them can open a cupboard and create a meal from what is there. They learned early to love and appreciate the creativity of making meals.

Yes, I confess, I was one of those moms!

But, years later I’m starting to feel pretty good about having been one those of moms.

And pretty proud of my kids too.